18+13 ways to protect your p*nis.

Crack on

Start your day with an egg to end it on a high. Eggs’ B vits are essential for sex drive and erectile strength but stress can deplete your levels, says Dr Paul Lachance. Scramble before you hit the office.

Just soy no

Soy milk isn’t better than cow juice, despite what the hipsters say. A Harvard study found the sperm counts of men using soy were 41m/ml lower than normal. That’s a lot of little yous to lose over your cereal.

A glass act

Throw out your Tupperware. A Reproductive Toxicology study found exposure to BPA in plastic can cut your sperm concentration by 23%. Nuke lunches in glassware. And limit Chinese takeaways too.

Lift on empty

Take a pitstop before you hit the squat rack. Peeing before you push stops urine being forced into your testicles, which the Uro Center of New York says causes epididymitis with painful swelling. Not the kind of growth you were after.

Dynamic duo

While 99.9% of penis-related pills are a con, a Fertility and Sterility study found the testicular tag team of zinc (£5.50 tesco.com) and folate (£8 hollandandbarrett.com) improves your percentage of healthy sperm – no scam.

Choose blue

Attack the cheese board after dinner. Research in the Journal of Applied Physiology says the fats in roquefort can boost your testosterone levels and sex drive.

Trade in type 2

Diabetes can leave you numb between the legs: Diabetes Voice says up to 58% of male sufferers are impotent. Keep your sugar levels in check by swapping starchy carbs for broccoli and spinach.

Booze snooze

Think twice when offered another pint down the pub. One study found 10 beers in one night can lower T-levels by 23% and leave you limp under the sheets long after the hangover clears.

Wi-Fry zone

Late night laptop use can kill more than your sleep cycle. Human Reproduction found it raises scrotal temperatures by 2.5°C, which can zap your fertility. Log off at work; there are better things to do in bed.

Deep clean

Shower time is serious for uncircumcised men. The American Cancer Society says smegma (sorry, official terminology) under the foreskin increases your risk of penile cancer. Scrub up.

Go hand solo

Your dates with Palmela Handerson work your pelvic floor muscles for even harder erections. It’s good for her, which is good for you. It’s also a great excuse if you forget to clear your browsing history.

The big C TLC

Supermarket shelves are your pharmacy when it comes to preventing testicular cancer. The beta-carotene in carrots has incredible anticancer effects. Its efficacy in cake form is yet unconfirmed.

Kick the habit

Forget the gruesome adverts, this fact is sure to scare you off cigarettes. Researchers at Boston Uni found blood vessel damage makes smokers’ erections significantly shorter – no smoke and mirrors.